While anyone who knows what they like in bed will tell you that size doesn’t matter and it’s all about skill, you still need to know what skills apply to your size. Both smaller and larger penises have their pro’s and con’s and learning how to use the equipment you have can make all the difference in your partner’s pleasure. Of course things such as communication and acceptance will help you to learn how to use your equipment, but there are other ways to improve your skills in the bedroom.
1. Accept Your Body
The first step is to accept what you have. For most people, changing your body is an unattainable goal. While there may be a noticeable difference with pumping, it usually takes patience and time. Even if you do decide to modify your penis through pumping or other methods, it will take time before you start to notice a difference and the quickest route to pleasing your partner is to accept what you have to work with and learn how to use it.
2. Reduce Lubrication
Reducing lubrication can help both parties feel the friction better and create a more intense experience. While going completely dry may be uncomfortable and cause chaffing. Simply decreasing the amount of lubrication can increase the friction felt making it seem as if your member is bigger than what it is. If your partner is naturally dripping wet, don’t use any synthetic lubrication at all.
3. Exercise PC Muscles
Both parties exercising their PC muscles will help increase what is felt during penis in vagina sex. When a male exercises his PC muscles it increases his control over flexing the muscles that will make him seem bigger to his partner. When a female exercises her PC muscles it increases the control she has over clenching those muscles. When either partner clenches their PC muscles during sex it will tighten the canal making sex more pleasurable for both parties.
4. Stimulate Her Clit
It is rare that women get off from penis in vagina sex alone. If you’re wanting to get her off try stimulating her clit. Not only will this help her to achieve orgasm, but it will cause her to involuntarily clench her PC muscles, tightening the vaginal canal.
5. The Hound
While it is rare for a woman to get off on PIV alone, the chances are a bit higher with men who have smaller members. Men with smaller penis’s can better achieve the position called The Hound. To get into this position have the woman get into the traditional doggy style, but on her forearms with her back arched, she should be pushing back into the male partner as he enters her. Having her back arched will shorten the length of the vaginal canal and guide the penis into her g-spot. This almost guaruntees her an orgsam and enhances the experience for both parties.
6. Girl On Top
Girl on top is another sex position that is fantastic for men with smaller penises. With her on top she is sitting on the male partner’s penis and getting deep penetration. With her in control it is less likely that the male partner will slip out. This also gives him better access to her entire body. If he does wish to take control, there will be more control over depth in this position than in others.
7. Lip Jobs
If he does slip out during girl on top (or other positions) take this time to give him a lip job. It feels amazing and mixes things up. To give a lip job position the shaft of the penis between her lips and have her thrust her hips over him. If she is wet this will create an intense feeling for both partners and stimulate her clit. Lip jobs are great for pressure control and can be as gentle or hard as you wish. Experiment with different pressures for different experiences.
8. Oral Sex
If the male partner is having issues accepting his body or having a bad self image day, a fantastic way to have sex without those issues would be having him perform oral sex. Having him up his oral sex game will increase his confidence. Try spelling the alphabet with your tongue, repeat letters she responds well to. Mix things up by sucking on her clit and labia. Stick out your tongue and allow her to grind on it.
9. Anal Sex
A great thing about having a smaller penis is that it makes anal sex easier and more comfortable. While you may have to experiment with positions, and anal sex safety is another post entirely, having anal with a smaller penis is less intimidating and more pleasurable. Also, with a smaller penis, you can use less lube (although you should still use lube) and it is more intense (in a good way) for both partners.
As with anything related to sex, communication is key. If you are the one struggling with body issues try figuring out why you’re experiencing those issues and bring it up to your partner. If your partner is struggling with body image issues remember to encourage and inform them when something feels good. Communicating with your partner about body issues may be a hard topic, but the hard conversations are the ones that help us grow the most.
While penis size isn’t everything, there are different techniques and tricks that each of the spectrum can use. Addressing your body issues should be your first step, but once you find a few tricks that work for you and your partner, your confidence should skyrocket. Just communicate, don’t be afraid to try new things, and have fun!